Music has the ability to affect our emotions, a certain tune or song will take us straight back to our teens and open doors to parts of our memory that we thought were forever closed.
My brother’s favourite song was Tammy by Debbie Reynolds, I can clearly remember both of us sitting on the doorstep while he sang it, I must have been 3 years old.
My brother’s favourite song was Tammy by Debbie Reynolds, I can clearly remember both of us sitting on the doorstep while he sang it, I must have been 3 years old.
.jpg "an ape experiencing Kylie") |
| An ape experiencing Kylie |
The emotional response to music is not just something that humans alone experience. In the animal kingdom, the overtly promiscuous chimpanzee will become over stimulated if the appropriate music is played loudly during the morning in its cage. Extensive research by scientists at The Guitar Library - although still in an early stage – show chimps copulating at a far greater rate when exposed to Telly Savalas’ version of ‘If,’ or anything from the first Spice Girls’ first CD.
In my quest to bring music of a more esoteric nature to the general public, I have delved deeply into The Guitar Library’s archives and after months of exhaustive work, have come up with the following results:
1. For married couples whose love life needs a bit of a boost nothing can beat the pounding bass and rhythmic tom toms of Apache Run
2. For those of you on a first date, the smooth sound of Patrick Yandall and LC Squared works everytime
3. For the men who are just to busy to find a partner and plan to fly solo, try Kanoodle by Tom Pile. It’s not sad, but you’ll need a lot of tissues.
4. For the rock gods and goddesses who are about to take the plunge and get hitched, look no further than Michael Bishop’s Hendrix inspired Woodstock Wedding.
5. For those of you who are a bit more adventurous, and like a good raunchy romp, try hopping round the bedroom to Bizzara by Page and Follet.
6. Into a bit of dressing up or re-enactment? Why not don your doublet and hose and cuddle up to Jerry Page’s tambour and horn in On the Green
7. Into threesomes? Look no further than Duke-a-holics Anonymous
8. Foursomes and above - of either sex? Paul Wood’s Camptown should do the trick
9. Fancy your cousin and you feel the need to tell someone about it? Try Country Slut.
9. Fancy your cousin and you feel the need to tell someone about it? Try Country Slut.
10. Hairy legs, smoke Capstan Full Strength and down a pint of real ale in one go? Then we have something for you and your husband, try My Own Mistakes. Enjoy!
If you have any better ideas, let me know!
If you have any better ideas, let me know!
No comments:
Post a Comment